Leaving Home

My bags are packed
At the doorstep I wait
I wait for a dark future
I wait for the past to fly

Memories cloud my head
Memories good bad ugly
Of a past that I leave behind
Of a future I embrace

Thoughts fly past me
I try sieving these thoughts
Searching for coherence
I try to hold a few more grains of time

Time flies fast
The grains I hold slip faster
My thoughts are still fighting for meaning
An identity I now burn to create a new one

Thoughts of my mother’s kiss
Her caresses and slap
Her dark eyes and her glower
Her hair I played with

Thoughts of my father’s finger
That led me when I fell
His sober smile that made me feel complete
His wrinkled brow when I was mischievous

Thoughts of my friends
My foes alike they were
The good times we had and the bad
The fights and the reunions

Thoughts that wrung my heart
A tear it then lets out
A drop that has in it hidden
A story of my life till now

A tear for all my good days
A tear for all the bad ones
A tear for the candle of past I blow off
A tear in fear of the future

And when the drop has dried
I wonder about its genesis
I blew out the candle of my past
Then why do I fear the future ahead?