Reasons for Absence(leave letter)

Dear Reader,

I would request you to grant me permission for having absented myself from the class for the last week since the last week has been very eventful. The prime reasons for my absence are

• Alien Abductions: I was walking to school when a UFO landed before my cycle. There were funny stick like people who came out and felt my privates. They thought that they were funny and so they abducted me to their space ship. There they manhandled me and pained me with multiple orgasms till i turned blue. (He means, i bunked school and went to watch "Koi Mil Gayaa")
• Serving the Country: I was overwhelmed by my duty to serve the country. So i ran away from home and went to Kargil. There I found that since the war was over, the jawaans were deprived of their physical desires, so I worked in the army as a strip dancer. I made no money but I have satisfied my desire to serve the country (He means, He got laid in the night so he cant make it)
• Intoxicated by spirituality:I have been practising spiritual yoga secretly, now i feel i am accomplished soul. I was practising my powers to turn myself into a woman. It has been a liberating experience and I wish to finish school and preach what I practise.(I had been to a transvestite orgy party and was playin with himself silly on dope)
• Fallen in Love: I met this awesome girl on the internet and we chatted till midnight so i could not sleep at all. I was lost in her thoughts and dreams. I never thought i would meet my soulmate finally. She perfectly complements me and makes me happy. I am intoxicated my love(He means, he has had bad sex with some stranger in his/her apartment)

Therefore, in the light of the of the above circumstances,I request you to grant me permission for my absence

Yours

Anil Oruganty