Ach liebe eis

There have been many fan mails (yea right!) which have questioned about the statements I had made about my love life. Stuff like, “Being in love is like bungee jumping down a volcano” or the truth that my love life is an oxymoron. Well… many readers thought that it was a necessary hyperbole for good natured humor; but the wiser ones realized the veracity of the statements and cared to verify.
I mean really, my love life is an oxymoron. We are probably an antithesis to all living loving things except sea horses, since I don’t plan to rear my young. But really what is the equation that we share, when you bring together one obnoxious, well rumped, scanty haired guy who necessarily punctuates his sentences with expletives with One incisively sarcastic, inexplicably frustrated, irony personified, girl who is deficient in all quarters except when she accidentally lands up on the weighing machine, you get a love story, ever thought of it?
Typical conversations would not be worth airing even in adult rated movies, not because of the sexually explicit content, but the hurting expletive content. In fact we are quite a normal couple. Like, we are very much into public display of affection, she tries her best to push me off my ground and I respond by trying to get her run down by a moving vehicle, the fact that we haven’t succeeded is proof for our love. We go out a lot on dates, you know those typical romantic ones where there is moonlight, stars, green grass, fresh air and to add to the ambience, there is this odd stray dog which noses my knee when I am trying to haggle with the chat guy for my last piece of pani puri and She tries to steal a puri in the meantime sneakily, then of course there is the orchestra of horns and vehicles that sing the symphony of our love.
We go out shopping, I mean it generally starts out as window shopping, like get into any gift shop, browse around find a good small gift that fits into the pocket, then I tell her the plan, we execute that to perfection, the end, we are richer by probably a key chain or a pen.
Oh we go to the movies, and like all couples we also do not watch the movie, one difference, we try to irk the living lights out of the audience who are seated before us, or one of us would make the life miserable of the other by giving a running critic of the director’s excellence or about the broken toe of the thirteen corpse for the left. So Never, I repeat never seat yourself beside us unless you fantasize visits to the lunatic asylum
By the way, we are hospitable too. We are probably the best hosts you can find in the neighborhood, except that after a week of stay, your bathrooms will start smelling, after ten days, you will suddenly find the food spicier for your palette and in a fortnight, there will be strange disappearances of money and stuff. In a months time, you will realize that our house is haunted, well…we are jinxed.
Marriage is on the cards obviously, we want to get married and live happily ever after, but then how would it be if we went trekking up the mountains and spent our honeymoon in the Thar. We have not planned that so much since it is foresight, but we have already applied for my kid’s seat in a school….
After this in all probability I will end up single, so all girls who want to call me, please subscribe for Z level security, she is really dangerous

Interesting, confused, are we mad, are we normal, are in love?
We are normally mad but together we are madly in love.
If u are wondering about my title...I guess its "I'm Loving it!"